In a shocking turn of events, the Philippine Congress is gearing up for a potential influx of peculiar new Partylists vying for seats in the lower house.

Following the formation of the Nanay Partylist, new contenders have emerged: Tatay Partylist, Anak Partylist, Lola Partylist, and Apo Partylist. These familial factions promise to bring every generation’s concerns to the legislative table.

Meanwhile, the Extrovert Partylist is set to balance the introverted tendencies of the existing Alona Partylist.

However, the real seismic shock is the Marites Partylist, spearheaded by high-profile vloggers Jay Sonza, Rigoberto Tiglao, Krizette Laureta Chu, Mark Lopez, Sass Rogando Sasot, and Claire Eden Contreras, aka Maharlika. These influencers reportedly sealed their alliance with a dramatic blood compact using diabetic prick needles.

With such colorful contenders, the next Partylist polls are bound to be a spectacle of epic proportions. Gird your loins, dear readers; the circus is coming to town.