MANILA — In a bold move to further unite the nation, Malacañang has issued an addendum to its recent directive on patriotic rituals. 

Following the mandate to recite the Bagong Pilipinas hymn and pledge during Monday flag-raising ceremonies, Executive Secretary Lucas Bersamin announced the compulsory recitation of the Maisug Pledge every Friday during flag retreats.

The text of the Maisug Pledge, included in the memo, celebrates the administration’s values of bravery and unity. 

Critics, however, view this as yet another layer of ceremonial pageantry. “We’re thrilled to have more opportunities to express our patriotism,” said one government employee with a notable lack of enthusiasm. Others speculate that Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays might soon receive their own ceremonial enhancements. 

How fair, this administration, in its relentless pursuit of nationalistic fervor!