In the latest installment of “Imagination Chronicles” presented by our intrepid local news media, the Philippines finds itself on the brink of an international scandal. 

According to reports, investigators from the International Criminal Court (ICC) have stealthily infiltrated our borders to pursue the case of Rodrigo Duterte and his notorious war on drugs. The catch? No one seems to have actually seen these elusive investigators or any concrete evidence of their presence.

Our diligent journalists have relied solely on the unverifiable claims of Antonio Trillanes, who appears to have taken up the role of our nation’s unofficial spokesperson for imaginary events.

In this surreal narrative, our esteemed media outlets have showcased their unparalleled ability to transform baseless speculation into sensational headlines. Are they the heralds of truth, or perhaps the maestros of fiction?

It seems our journalists have perfected the art of imaginative storytelling, leaving the public to ponder whether they’re reporting the news or authoring a gripping novel.

Move over, Pulitzer Prize – the Gossip Awards may be just around the corner.