It seems the Philippines’ critics will have to postpone their New Year’s celebrations as the country clinches the title of one of the world’s fastest-growing economies. 

This unexpected success has left the DDShits (Doomsday Shouters) and administration critics scratching their heads, desperately searching for a new angle to discredit the Marcos administration. 

Perhaps they could redirect their fervor toward the perennial issue of EDSA traffic, where even the most patient commuters feel like they’re part of a never-ending parade. 

Forget economic triumphs; let’s tackle the true crisis—unruly traffic jams. As the nation prepares for prosperity, critics might need to trade in their pessimistic banners for some EDSA traffic cones. After all, nothing unites a country like the shared misery of a standstill commute. Cheers to a gridlocked New Year!