In a surprising twist of ecumenical diplomacy, the Philippines has decided to extend its heavenly alliances beyond the celestial realm. The predominantly Catholic nation, often deemed the “holiest ground” in Asia, has declared a divine collaboration with the International Criminal Court (ICC). This celestial decision is framed as an earnest effort to connect with the global community.

The nation, echoing its belief in a singular God, justified the move by stating, “We believe in and surrender our lives to the one God who made the heavens and earth. We worship and praise Jesus, the Son, who died upon the cross to redeem us from sin.”

In a harmonious liturgy of geopolitics and theology, the Philippines welcomed the International Church of Christ (ICC) with open hearts and arms, proving that even in matters of international justice and politics, a prayer or two might be the best defense.

(Disclaimer: Despite diligent efforts, we could not find a logo of the International Church of Christ, so in order to beat our deadline, we used the logo of the International Criminal Court as a placeholder. We will update as soon as our Google search returns a response to our queries.)