Our flies on the wall in Malacañang to have revealed that Maria Ressa and Leila de Lima are next in line for amnesty under President Bongbong Marcos’ mysterious “Unity for Laughter” initiative. 

The initiative, part of Marcos’ ambitious plan to bring humor and unity to the Philippines, apparently includes pardoning not just rebels, but also those known for their sharp wit and satirical prowess.

Rumors suggest that Marcos was impressed by Ressa’s ability to turn serious news into comedy gold and de Lima’s knack for crafting witty retorts even in the face of controversy. 

The top-secret list, reportedly hidden in a vault guarded by a karaoke-singing robot, has sparked both amusement and concern among the public.

As the nation braces for the possibility of a satirical amnesty, citizens are left wondering if this is the president’s way of encouraging a new era of political stand-up or simply an attempt to keep the nation in stitches while navigating through challenging times. Only time will tell if the laughter will be loud enough to drown out any remaining dissent.