GMA News, the once bottomless well of Miss Universe updates has run dry, leaving journalists to grapple with the shocking reality of a slow news day. 

As if the universe itself hit pause, the front page now desperately clings to the unexpected support for Michelle Dee from former title holders. Readers are left in disbelief, wondering if the queens’ kindness is a rare celestial alignment or just a cunning clickbait strategy. 

In a world where beauty queens are expected to unleash tiara-clashing drama, the absence of catfights has us all questioning the cosmic balance of gossip and glitter.