THE HAGUE, Netherlands (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) – The Netherlands has declared its unwavering support for the Philippines’ sovereign rights in the disputed South China Sea territories by sending a warship. The mission will be led by none other than the renowned Netherlands-based blogger and self-proclaimed “true Filipino patriot,” Rear Admiral Allantroy Sasot, known to the world as Sass Rogando Sasot.

Yes, you read that right, the same Sass Rogando Sasot who has taken the internet by storm with insightful blog posts and witty Twitter rants is now at the helm of a warship. Clearly, Netherlands recognizes that the best way to uphold international law and assert sovereign rights is to appoint a social media influencer as a naval commander.

This move sends a strong message to the world: if you want to protect your sovereignty, just find a keyboard warrior with a patriotic Twitter feed. Who needs years of military training when you have a master of hashtags and memes leading the charge? Perhaps it’s time for more countries to appoint Instagram influencers as ambassadors and YouTube celebrities as generals. After all, if you can’t tweet your way to victory, what’s the point?