In the twisted game of “Who’s the Best Fit to be the Philippines’ Special Envoy to China?” amid the South China Sea territorial conflict, the choices seem to resemble a cast of characters from a tragicomedy. 

First, there’s Teddy Boy Locsin, who has an uncanny talent for foot-in-mouth diplomacy. He managed to justify the killing of Palestinian children, which is a real crowd-pleaser when trying to cozy up to international allies. 

Then there’s Rodrigo Duterte, known for his colorful language and diplomatic skills. He once famously cursed the EU and called Barack Obama a “son of a whore.” Clearly, he’s a master of building bridges with profanity.

But the real star of the show could be none other than Imelda Marcos, who could be seen as the Philippines’ secret weapon to open China’s iron curtain. 

After all, how can China forget that historic meeting between Imelda and Mao Tse Tung, with her little boy Bongbong in tow?

That little boy now has the power to appoint her mom to the high-stakes position, all for the priceless outcome of lasting peace and camaraderie with China.