In an ever-expanding universe of beauty pageants, we’ve gone from knowing only three heavenly queens – Miss Universe, Miss International, and Miss World – to an astronomical array of titles that leaves us feeling like mere Earthlings in a cosmic beauty blender. 

With new competitions popping up like zits on prom night, the pageant universe now includes Miss Earth, Miss Supranational, Miss Globe, Miss Grand International, Miss Intercontinental, Miss Pan Americana, Miss Asia Pacific, Miss World Tourism, and a galaxy of others we can’t even keep up with.

But perhaps the most out-of-this-world idea is the concept of choosing Miss South China Sea. We’ve already seen territorial disputes over this watery domain. So, why not have a beauty contest to settle it? Just picture world leaders nervously watching the swimsuit round, hoping their contestant doesn’t sink their sovereignty claims.

In the end, the proliferation of beauty pageants may be the ultimate solution to world peace, because nothing says “let’s share” like a sparkling tiara.