Ah, the great Commonwealth caper! It’s truly remarkable how a lowly traffic cop can single-handedly bring one of the busiest streets in the metro to a screeching halt, all in the name of protecting the ever-elusive VIP. But isn’t it a tad optimistic to believe that a mere officer can make such traffic-stopping decisions? Whatever happened to “command responsibility?”

The pink slip should not be limited to the subject cop, but the responsible chain of command.

And let’s not forget the comedic masterpiece that was the QCPD’s apology statement. VP Sara Duterte, for some reason, was dragged into this mess, only to be exonerated as an innocent bystander in the ordeal. But the QCPD forgot to mention who this mysterious VIP actually was. Perhaps they’re saving that revelation for a thrilling sequel?

The transparency they touted was more opaque than a blindfolded mole in a coal mine. It leaves us all wondering, who was this VIP, and what absurd privilege allows them to turn Commonwealth Avenue into their own personal racetrack? Alas, some mysteries are meant to remain unsolved in the curious world of VIP Philippines.