Self-proclaimed political expert Richard Heydarian has unveiled his ingenious solution to the escalating territorial conflict in the South China Sea: “Adobo Diplomacy.” Yes, you heard that right, folks – the secret to easing tensions with China lies in the delicious embrace of Filipino cuisine.

Heydarian, a man known for his ability to turn even the most complicated geopolitical issues into clickbait headlines, now proposes that the Philippines should serve China Coast Guard vessels and personnel bowls of pork and chicken adobo as a gesture of goodwill. Why, oh why, didn’t the Department of Foreign Affairs think of this sooner?

This groundbreaking diplomatic approach, which Heydarian claims to have devised in the wee hours of a balmy Manila night, is set to revolutionize international relations as we know it. Clearly, all those high-level negotiations, territorial disputes, and diplomatic protocols were mere child’s play in comparison to the transformative power of Filipino comfort food.

With Adobo Diplomacy, we can now look forward to seeing Philippine Navy and Coast Guard ships outfitted not with cannons and torpedoes, but with steaming pots of adobo. Imagine the joyous faces of Chinese personnel as they receive their heaping bowls of adobo, their hearts melting faster than the pork fat in this delectable dish.

It’s comforting to know that the future of international diplomacy now rests on the shoulders of savory stews and braised meat. Bon appétit, world peace!