MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Senator Bato dela Rosa has proposed allocating confidential funds to the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA).

“We need to support our diplomats with secret squirrel money,” he declared, as though he’d just uncovered a global conspiracy.

However, DFA Secretary Enrique Manallo swiftly responded, stating, “We appreciate Senator Bato’s creative thinking, but we’re not actually seeking any hush-hush funds. Our diplomats are too busy with real-world diplomacy to engage in espionage. We promise, we won’t be sneaking around in trench coats.”

It appears Senator Bato may need a refresher on the DFA’s priorities, beyond his vivid James Bond fantasies.