Unidentified Man Buys $27M Worth Of Power Ball Tickets, Is Guaranteed To Win Tonight

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles) – It is the biggest jackpot in U.S. lottery history — $1.5 Billion and counting. And someone, for sure, is going to win it tonight!

An unidentified man who lives in New Orleans, Lousiana, spent the last 48 hours making the rounds of convenience and other stores selling Power Ball lottery tickets, purchasing a total of $27 Million worth of tickets. At $2 a piece, that’s at least 14 Million tickets.

The man, inspired by mathematical analyses of possible number combinations to hit one of 13,983,816 ways to win the jackpot, said that he is investing all of his money in tonight’s drawing. He has also mortaged all his property.

Assuming the final Power Ball jackpot is $1.5 Billion, and he pays up to 50% of his winnings in taxes, he would still net $750 Million, making his $27 Million investment all worth it.

That is, of course, also assuming that no one else picks the winning combination in tonight’s drawing.

So, don’t give up. You still have one in 14 Million chances to win the Power Ball. Or two in 14 Million chances, if you buy two tickets. And so on…

One thought on “Unidentified Man Buys $27M Worth Of Power Ball Tickets, Is Guaranteed To Win Tonight”

I assume this article is satire, because it’s physically impossible for one man to buy 14 million lottery tickets in 2 days. It’s also impossible to guarantee he’d win, given that either (1) He’d have to fill out the lottery cards and eventually use all of the almost 14 million combinations, or (2) He’d have to use the auto-pick, which wouldn’t guarantee he’d get all the combinations, not to mention that he’d have to wait for the tickets to be physically printed. Assuming it would take, say, on average of 5 seconds to print a ticket of 10 wagers, that would still require him to spend somewhere around 23 weeks accumulating tickets, so yeah. Not possible.
And honestly, not that great a satire. You kinda need to personalize it more than “unidentified man.” To make it funny, you actually need to identify him and play up the ridiculousness of his mission somehow. Nice try, though.

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chosenwon says:

January 14, 2016 at 4:50 pm

I assume this article is satire, because it’s physically impossible for one man to buy 14 million lottery tickets in 2 days. It’s also impossible to guarantee he’d win, given that either (1) He’d have to fill out the lottery cards and eventually use all of the almost 14 million combinations, or (2) He’d have to use the auto-pick, which wouldn’t guarantee he’d get all the combinations, not to mention that he’d have to wait for the tickets to be physically printed. Assuming it would take, say, on average of 5 seconds to print a ticket of 10 wagers, that would still require him to spend somewhere around 23 weeks accumulating tickets, so yeah. Not possible.
And honestly, not that great a satire. You kinda need to personalize it more than “unidentified man.” To make it funny, you actually need to identify him and play up the ridiculousness of his mission somehow. Nice try, though.

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