QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino on Monday delivered the longest State of the Nation Address (SONA) in the country’s history and used the podium at the joint session of Congress to thank his hairdresser.

For two hours and ten minutes, Aquino, speaking in Tagalog, focused on two major themes: blaming his predecessor for all that is wrong with the country and thanking his entire personal entourage.

In addition to his hairdresser, he thanked his wardrobe consultant, his nanny, his security detail, his personal secretary, his spiritual counselor, his parents, his sisters and in-laws, his smoking buddies, and finally his bosses — the Filipino people.

If his  last SONA sounded like an acceptance speech at a film awards presentation, it is because it was.  The Adobo Chronicles®  learned that Aquino’s sister, actress and television talk show host Kris, wrote majority of what he said in his SONA.

In addition to calling it an acting award acceptance speech, critics have called the speech a SOPA, or State of the Previous Administration.