by Maria Bratikova

If I say you‘re white, cos you are, would you be offended?  Would you call me a racist? 

If you say I’m brown, because I am, should I be  offended? Would you be a racist? Or are you?

And if you are a red Indian and I call you such, are we going to engage in a word war? Axe to axe? Would I, or would you, be discriminating? When you‘re black and I say so – because you are – would you be  offended? Why? Or – why not? 

Some would say “he‘s a Yugo“  cos he or she is, why would that offend a non-Yugoslav or the Yugoslav? What about calling an Italian Italian? Is calling a Caucasian Caucasian offensive?

If you‘re hit by a black car with plate number 123XYZ ZH and it ran, how would you describe the car to the police? Plate number and darkest of dark? Like a night without stars nor moonlight? The darkest one can imagine? You know pc and racism! And if it were a white automobile? Don‘t offend my friend now – he‘s white! 

If I call you by your given name, not your race nor your country of origin – what does that make me? Realist?Naive? Politically correct?

Dang it. . . Bonkers!

Call me Effendi and we‘re fine!

In a curious twist of literary irony, an unidentified bookstore has ingeniously placed Nobel Laureate Maria Ressa’s supposed heroic saga among the realms of fiction. 

In this bold act, the store has inadvertently uncovered the true narrative of Ressa’s purported defiance against a dictator, relegating it to the whimsical world of make-believe. Much like the recycled clichés of Ressa’s rhetoric – from “taking back the Internet” to painting the Philippines as “the worst war zone” – her grandiose statements find a fitting home amidst the shelves of fiction. 

Indeed, the bookstore’s decision to judge the book by its cover proves to be astute, hitting the bullseye of satire. 

In this alternate universe where truth and fiction blur, perhaps Ressa’s tale of standing up to tyranny is best enjoyed as a bedtime story rather than a historical account.

So, word on the street is that there’s an arrest warrant lurking ominously over the Dutertes’ and Bato’s heads. 😱🚨

Where did I get wind of this news? From none other than the China Parrot Propagandists, who never fail to deliver the hottest gossip straight to our screens. 🐦🎶 Their synchronized squawking about it only confirms they’re reading from the same script, orchestrated by a mysterious maestro behind the scenes. 🎶😂

Now, let’s dissect Digong’s audacious plan to turn Mindanao into its own independent entity, separate from the rest of the Philippines. Talk about an interesting power move, right? 🌴📜 But here’s where it gets interesting: breaking away won’t grant immunity from the ICC, darlings. 😱

Picture this: even if Mindanao were to break free and cozy up to the ICC, or if the ICC decided to keep Mindanao on its radar thanks to its former status as part of the Philippines, we need to grasp one juicy tidbit: the ICC plays by its own rules, no matter the country. 🗺️⚖️

Sweeties, the ICC doesn’t care about borders. It’s like that mysterious neighbor who marches to the beat of their own drum, unbothered by the neighborhood gossip. Its reach spans far and wide, grabbing anyone accused of serious international crimes within its grasp, no matter where they hide.⛰️🫣

So, imagine this scenario: if President Duterte were to land himself in hot water for offenses falling under the ICC’s watchful eye—think crimes against humanity or war crimes—and if the ICC still held Mindanao in its legal grip, then guess what? Yep, you guessed it! The ICC could come knocking, even if Duterte decided to play hide-and-seek in Mindanao. 🕵️‍♂️🚪

But amidst this whirlwind of intrigue, one burning question begs to be answered: does Duterte even want to hide? 🤫 He struts around boasting he’s not afraid of the ICC, flaunting his defiance like a peacock. Yet, poor Sen. Bato dela Rosa’s knees are already knocking in fear. 🦵😱🦵😨

But wait, let’s speculate further, my darlings. Could this warrant be a ploy to divert attention from other pressing issues? 🤔 Or perhaps it’s a carefully orchestrated tactic to rally support from his loyal followers? 💭

Will there be a warrant soon, or is this just another act in the China Parrot Propagandists’ drama series? Stay tuned, because this political soap opera is far from over! 🎬🔍

P.S. Currently buried under a mountain of tasks, so I’m steering clear of the political circus for now. But don’t worry, i’ll be back to spill more tea when time permits! 🩷