(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

In a stunning display of corporate sensitivity, Apple announced it was removing the clown emoticon due to its rampant misuse in the digital circus known as social media.

Particularly, Filipino netizens have been zealously deploying the clown to illustrate the perceived antics of public figures like Senator Bato dela Rosa and Jonathan Morales during the Senate hearings on PDEA leaks. 

The internet nearly imploded with rage, as critics feared their favorite emblem of ridicule was about to be retired. However, this emotional rollercoaster ended on a high note when fact-checkers heroically debunked the news. Relief washed over the masses who, with their trusty clown emoji intact, could continue their noble mission of highlighting political farce with all the subtlety of a pie to the face. 

Apple, meanwhile, probably just chuckled at the chaos, pondering the true power of a little digital greasepaint.