Oh mighty celestial custodian, we beseech thee to spare a thought for poor Bb. Maharlika, whose soul seems to have taken a detour through Dante’s Inferno. As she wallows in the depths of her own misguided righteousness, we implore thee to intervene and liberate her from the clutches of the infernal tempter, Satan. Grant her the strength to acknowledge that she’s not just hit rock bottom but has erected a condominium there. Bless her with the courage to embrace the harsh reality that her redemption lies not in endless pontification, but in the sacred art of shuttingTFU. May she find solace in the blissful silence of introspection, and may her vocal cords discover the serene tranquility of non-existence. Amen.