In a baffling turn of events, the Davao City police have managed to misplace the whereabouts of Apollo Quiboloy, the embattled leader of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ. 

Their claim of cluelessness raises eyebrows among citizens who now question their ability to serve and protect. Oddly enough, while Quiboloy remains elusive, the police have miraculously located and swiftly dealt with alleged shabu users, dispatching seven of them within a mere 48 hours. 

Perhaps the Davao police should consider seeking assistance from the group of Manila pro-Duterte v/bloggers who recently rendezvoused with the self-proclaimed “appointed son of God” in their city. After all, it wasn’t exactly a covert gathering. 

In the realm of law enforcement priorities, it seems tracking down a controversial religious figure takes a backseat to pursuing individuals suspected of drug offenses. Priorities, it appears, are divinely selective.