As Metro Manila’s thoroughfares shrink in car lanes, it seems owning a private vehicle might soon be as outdated as a fax machine. 

The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority’s latest stroke of genius has transformed roads into a jungle gym for buses, bicycles, and motorcycles, leaving car owners pondering whether their four-wheeled investments are destined for the scrap heap. Will car dealers soon file for bankruptcy?

In their grand plan, technocrats could soon introduce the VIP lane, where the privileged few can glide past the masses, sipping their lattes while the plebs sweat it out in traffic purgatory. And let’s not forget the emergency lane, where ambulances, police cars, and fire trucks fight for space amidst the chaos, hoping their sirens can part the sea of two-wheelers. 

It’s a spectacle worthy of a circus, where the only thing missing is a ringmaster to announce the next act of absurdity. 

Welcome to Manila, where the only thing moving faster than the traffic is the pace of bureaucratic innovation.