In a groundbreaking move, President Bongbong Marcos has unveiled a bold initiative to champion the rights of a new, previously overlooked demographic – Persons Without Dyowa (PWDs), otherwise known as single individuals.

With the stroke of a pen, Marcos has issued an Executive Order elevating singlehood to a protected class, joining the esteemed ranks of senior citizens, Persons With Disability, and pregnant women.

Timed perfectly for the upcoming Valentine’s Day festivities, the EO ensures that PWDs won’t be left out in the cold when it comes to enjoying the perks of prioritized services and discounts. Now, unattached individuals can revel in discounted meals and special accommodations, turning what was once a solo mission into a communal celebration of independence.

As the nation gears up to commemorate the month of hearts, President Marcos reminds everyone that love may be fleeting, but discounts are forever.