In the latest twist to religious traditions, the anticipated evening masses have emerged as the rebellious offspring of the once-solemn dawn masses of Simbang Gabi. 

Apparently, the spiritual journey to honor the child Jesus has taken a detour into the cozy realm of convenience. 

Gone are the days of faithful sacrifices, braving the frigid morning air for nine days straight. Now, devotees can conveniently snooze through the morning chill and casually stroll into a well-lit church at the end of the day.

The irony is as thick as incense smoke: a novena designed for sacrifice has morphed into a nocturnal affair of spiritual procrastination. Perhaps the faithful are now engaged in a novena of negotiating with their alarm clocks. 

One can’t help but wonder if the child Jesus, who laid in a manger surrounded by livestock, would have preferred the warmth of a cozy evening celebration over the crisp dawn air. It seems the sacrifices have shifted from waking up early to staying up late, all in the name of spiritual comfort. Praise the Lord and pass the earplugs!

Will Jollibee Chickenjoy now also replace the traditional puto bumbong?