BAGUIO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Baguio Bureau) – The Commission on Filipino Language is reportedly urging the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines to embark on a linguistic crusade to correct the linguistic sins of Christmas. 

According to the commission, common Christmas terms have been used inaccurately for centuries.

The commission asserts that “Pasko,” widely believed to mean Christmas, is a linguistic faux pas as it actually stems from the Spanish “Pascua,” meaning Easter. In a bid for terminological precision, they propose a Yuletide rebranding.

Another linguistic misstep, according to the commission, is the term “Simbanggabi.” Contrary to popular belief, they argue, the Christmas novena should not be associated with the night but with the crack of dawn. Perhaps dawn vigil in Tagalog would be a more fitting description?

And let’s not forget “Noche Buena,” which, according to the commission, should be renamed to reflect its true meaning. Despite its long history, they argue it inaccurately translates to “Good Night” in Spanish. 

In the name of linguistic integrity, the commission is demanding a Yuletide vocabulary overhaul, sparking debates on whether the language police have gone too far.