In a stroke of legislative genius, the Department of Agriculture is pushing for a bill that would require food establishments to offer half-cups of rice. Because nothing says “effective policy” like a throwback to the glorious era of rice rationing during the late, great Marcos administration. 

Forget tackling the root of the issue, the Department of Agriculture has identified but ignores the real threat to the nation: unlimited rice servings enticing Pinoys into restaurants. Apparently, they’ve missed the memo that not everyone wants to carb-load like they’re training for a marathon.

While some Pinoys diligently watch their glycemic index, the real heroes are the establishments encouraging rice binges. Why focus on the potential for obesity and diabetes when there’s the urgent matter of ensuring everyone gets just the right amount of rice, no more, no less? 

It’s comforting to know that in the grand hierarchy of national concerns, the rice cup size is a top priority. Because who needs sensible solutions when you can legislate rice portion control?