Ah, the pro-Duterte bloggers, those tireless champions of alternative facts, have once again graced us with their dubious talents.

In the latest episode of “Creative Poll Interpretation,” these so-called “kakampures” are ecstatically hailing a lone Tangere poll that miraculously crowns Rodrigo Duterte as the top choice for senator in 2025. It’s truly remarkable how they’ve managed to turn a blind eye to the multitude of other surveys that tell a different story.

But who needs a fair and balanced analysis when you can have a cult-like devotion to your chosen leader? These bloggers have perfected the art of weaving intricate narratives, casting President Bongbong Marcos as the hapless villain, and imagining a rivalry with his vice president, Inday Sara Duterte, all to prop up their beloved strongman.

With their relentless dedication to the cause, these influencers are morphing into full-fledged propagandists. Forget fair, truthful, and intelligent analysis; in their hands, social media has become a playground of fiction, where facts are optional, and loyalty reigns supreme. Let’s hope someday they’ll find their way back to reality.