The Commission on Audit (COA) has initiated an investigation into the sudden proliferation of massive billboards featuring Senator Risa Hontiveros across Metro Manila. These billboards boldly declare that the disputed South China Sea territories belong to the Philippines. While the sentiment may be noble, the colossal price tags on these advertisements are raising eyebrows.

One can’t help but wonder if Senator Hontiveros moonlights as a secret billionaire, single-handedly financing her extravagant billboards, which reportedly cost a jaw-dropping P200,000 each month or over P2 million a year. That’s PER billboard.

COA, ever the vigilant watchdog, is keen to find out if Hontiveros has a secret stash of gold doubloons hidden away, or perhaps her own private intelligence fund for extravagantly patriotic ad campaigns.

But that’s not all – COA will also investigate whether these billboards received generous contributions from wealthy politicians or even foreign governments determined to stick it to China.

Perhaps we’ve just uncovered a secret cabal of billboard enthusiasts dedicated to solving international disputes through advertising. Only time will tell.