MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Senator Robin Padilla has proposed a groundbreaking amendment to the Philippine Constitution that would require all incumbents and future candidates for Congress to join the Army Reserve Corps. Padilla, known for his action movie roles, declared that lawmakers must lead the charge in defending the nation’s sovereignty, envisioning a parliament of politicians doubling as weekend warriors.

“Clearly, our politicians’ ability to draft legislation directly correlates with their ability to wield a rifle and chant military cadences,” Padilla, a reservist himself, exclaimed. “Who needs a degree in political science when you can have one in grenade launching instead?”

While some might argue that governing requires a nuanced understanding of complex issues, Padilla insists that all Congress members need to be physically fit and ready to charge into battle at a moment’s notice. Perhaps future sessions of Congress will feature debates where politicians can engage in friendly squabbles before retreating to the shooting range for target practice. One thing’s for sure, Philippine politics has never been more action-packed.