by Pol Pinoy, Brian Neyra, and Maria Bratikova

MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles, Miami Bureau) – A New York judge has appraised former President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate at a meager $18 million, sending shockwaves through the real estate industry and sparking a stampede of eager buyers and agents.

The ruling has real estate agents across the nation scrambling to reevaluate their careers, as they’re suddenly forced to adjust to the fact that a gloriously tacky palace of gold leaf, gilded chandeliers, and a healthy dose of political scandal is worth less than the average Manhattan studio apartment.

Direct buyers are reportedly elbowing their way through Mar-a-Lago’s ostentatious front gates, offering up pocket change and a promise to keep the place stocked with spray tan supplies. 

An Adobo Chronicles random search of celebrity properties showed the obvious — Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate pales in comparison when it comes to value.  Celebrity homes sell or are valued twice to four times more than that of Trump.

Meanwhile, new team member Maria Bratikova is moving permanently to the Philippines to join Adobo Chronicles full time. She is selling her Zürich home for 65 million! In pesoses, philippinian, that is. For purposes of confidentiality, we cannot post a photo of her home but here is a location map. It’s near the Zürich airport.

Interested buyers can contact Adobo Chronicles, which is acting as her Philippine agent. Hey, if Rappler can be a dealer in securities, we can be an agent of real estate, can’t we?