ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles®) – While health authorities in Southeast Asia are alarmed at the increasing number of cases of the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS), officials of the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) are worried about a possible epidemic of  a mysterious oral bacterial infection among Americans.

In just the last 24 hours, the CDC has confirmed more than 5 Million cases of the bacterial infection, based on reports from community clinics, hospitals and emergency rooms across the country.

The reports prompted U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Hallegere Murthy to go on national television this morning, asking his fellow Americans to remain calm.

“The government can confirm that indeed, millions of Americans came down with this still unknown oral bacterial infection that seems to have spread quickly in almost all states. Investigators from the CDC were immediately dispatched to try to trace the source of the infection.”

“As of this morning, we have positively identified the culprit for this oral infection. Yesterday, June 19, was “National Kissing Day.”

“There is no reason to be alarmed as everything will pass. I am asking Americans to refrain  from kissing anyone for at least two weeks until this artificial epidemic has died down.”

The human mouth harbors up to 80 Million microbes at any given time.

For now, give hugs, not kisses.