In a bid to prepare for the looming secession of Mindanao from the Philippines, the scriptwriters of ABS-CBN’s “TV Patrol” and GMA’s “24 Oras” have undertaken a revision of their opening salvo, turning their once harmonious greetings into a comedic reflection of the country’s potential fragmentation.

Viewers can now anticipate Kabayan Noli de Castro’s iconic opening scream of “Magandang Gabi Bayang LuzVi,” replacing his customary “Magandang Gabi Bayan.” Meanwhile, Mel Tiangco’s signature greeting of “Magandang Gabi Luzon, Visayas at Mindanao” will undergo a melodious alteration to the high-pitched rendition of “Magandang Gabi Luzon at Visayas.”

The satirical twist reflects the absurdity of the situation, where national unity seems on the brink of dissolution. While the nation braces itself for uncertain times ahead, television networks appear ready to inject humor into the impending chaos, reminding viewers that even in the face of division, laughter may still be the best medicine.