GREAT BRITAIN LAYS CLAIM ON HAWAIIAN ISLANDS

The Hawaiian flag
The Hawaiian flag

The Hague, Netherlands – The territorial disputes that have threatened the peace and stability of Asian countries like China, Vietnam, Indonesia and the Philippines seem to have spread to the West.

In recent months, tensions have escalated among at least seven Asian governments due to disputed claims over oil-rich islands in the South China Sea, including the Spratly Islands.

Today, Great Britain filed a formal complaint with the United Nations’ International Court of Justice (ICJ), claiming that the Hawaiian Islands rightfully belongs to the British government.  Hawaii became the 50th state of the U.S.A. in 1959. To this day, there continues to be a Hawaiian Sovereignty Movement that maintains, among other things, that the U.S. illegally overthrew the last monarchy in 1893.

The British flag
The British flag

The British argue  that the Hawaiian islands were discovered by British naval captain James Cook in 1778.  “Besides,  the original form of government in Hawaii — a monarchy -is more closely linked to that of Great Britain,” Lyal Grant, U.K. Permament Representative to the U.N., said.  “But our most compelling argument to support our claim,” Grant continued, “is the fact that the Hawaiian flag mimics that of the British flag.”

The United States has not yet issued a formal response to the British complaint.

YAHOO! ABANDONS NEW LOGO SEARCH, CHANGES NAME INSTEAD

imageSunnyvale, California –  In recent weeks, Yahoo!, the popular Silicon Valley web portal search engine, has created a huge buzz in the Internet world when it announced it was changing the look of its company logo.  It has been posting a different font type of its logo each day, culminating with the revelation of the final, chosen look come September. It dubbed its logo event “30 Days of Change.”

However, in an emergency meeting today by its board of directors, Yahoo! decided to abandon its new logo search and instead announced a change in company name.  Majority of its directors expressed concern about the increasing threat from a relatively new competitor, Ask.com.

The directors said that in order to ensure the longetivity of the company, it has to be ready at all times to make radical changes to keep up with the competition.  They admitted that the name “Ask.com” was more catchy and sexy than “Yahoo” which is not even a real word.

After the meeting, the directors revealed the company’s new name which will take effect immediately: Yeah Who?

OPRAH WINFREY BUYS SWISS BOUTIQUE WITH AMEX BLACK CARD

imageChicago, Illinois – By now, the world knows all about the incident in a Swiss boutique in which Oprah Winfrey had asked to see a $38,000 handbag, but the shop assistant refused to show it to her because it was “too expensive.”

The upscale store was identified as Trois Pommes in Zurich . The manager of the boutique, Trudie Goetz, subsequently told paparazzis that the entire incident was a “200 percent misunderstanding” and had nothing to do with racism. image

Winfrey was reportedly concerned but not upset at the incident.  To prove her point, she purchased the entire boutique using her American Express Black Centurion Card, also known as the  Amex Black Card.  It is an invitation-only charge card issued by American Express  to platinum card holders after they meet certain criteria. The company’s promotional material describes centurion members as “super-affluent high net worth individuals on a continual quest for the best and most exclusive. They own companies and frequently travel. Exceptionally discerning and style-conscious, they live vicariously through themselves. Centurion members are global players who gain truly worldwide access to the inaccessible.”

The Adobo Chronicles learned that the good-hearted Winfrey, instead of firing the shop clerk identified only as Adriana N, promoted her to assistant manager. “I am sure the incident would be a great learning moment for Adriana,” Winfrey said.

Meanwhile  a spokesperson for Winfrey denied rumors that the international celebrity bought the entire country of Switzerland. “She is super-rich, but not THAT rich,” the spokesperson said.

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