Sunnyvale, California – In recent weeks, Yahoo!, the popular Silicon Valley web portal search engine, has created a huge buzz in the Internet world when it announced it was changing the look of its company logo. It has been posting a different font type of its logo each day, culminating with the revelation of the final, chosen look come September. It dubbed its logo event “30 Days of Change.”
However, in an emergency meeting today by its board of directors, Yahoo! decided to abandon its new logo search and instead announced a change in company name. Majority of its directors expressed concern about the increasing threat from a relatively new competitor, Ask.com.
The directors said that in order to ensure the longetivity of the company, it has to be ready at all times to make radical changes to keep up with the competition. They admitted that the name “Ask.com” was more catchy and sexy than “Yahoo” which is not even a real word.
After the meeting, the directors revealed the company’s new name which will take effect immediately: Yeah Who?
Chicago, Illinois – By now, the world knows all about the incident in a Swiss boutique in which Oprah Winfrey had asked to see a $38,000 handbag, but the shop assistant refused to show it to her because it was “too expensive.”
The upscale store was identified as Trois Pommes in Zurich . The manager of the boutique, Trudie Goetz, subsequently told paparazzis that the entire incident was a “200 percent misunderstanding” and had nothing to do with racism.
Winfrey was reportedly concerned but not upset at the incident. To prove her point, she purchased the entire boutique using her American Express Black Centurion Card, also known as the Amex Black Card. It is an invitation-only charge card issued by American Express to platinum card holders after they meet certain criteria. The company’s promotional material describes centurion members as “super-affluent high net worth individuals on a continual quest for the best and most exclusive. They own companies and frequently travel. Exceptionally discerning and style-conscious, they live vicariously through themselves. Centurion members are global players who gain truly worldwide access to the inaccessible.”
The Adobo Chronicles learned that the good-hearted Winfrey, instead of firing the shop clerk identified only as Adriana N, promoted her to assistant manager. “I am sure the incident would be a great learning moment for Adriana,” Winfrey said.
Meanwhile a spokesperson for Winfrey denied rumors that the international celebrity bought the entire country of Switzerland. “She is super-rich, but not THAT rich,” the spokesperson said.
San Francisco, California – First, it painted its bike lanes in green, then its MUNI train tracks in red. Now, the City and County of San Francisco has entered into a multi-million contract with Sherwin-Williams, the third largest paint company in the world, for a total make-over of its thousands of pedestrian lanes. San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee and the County Board of Supervisors have jointly approved the project which is expected to start in September with a completion date slated sometime in January of next year. The painting project will be implemented in several phases, starting with the entire stretch of Market Street – from Castro to the Embarcadero. Lee and the gay members of the board of supervisors will participate in a ceremonial painting of the first crosswalk on Market and Castro Streets at 9am on September 1st.
Unlike the boring, single color paint used for the bike lanes and MUNI train tracks, the new pedestrian lanes will be painted in a succession of the rainbow colors: ROYGBV ROYGBIV ROYGBIV and so on.
While admitting that the cost of the project will be a burden to the city’s coffers, the mayor and supervisors assured the public that the return on investment will be three-fold. It will also seal San Francisco’s reputation as the “Gayest City in the World.”