PLEA BARGAIN FROM PORK BARREL QUEEN JANET NAPOLES

imageMakati City, Philippines – The lawyer of suspected pork barrel queen Janet Lim-Napoles announced that her client has agreed to a plea bargain in the criminal case filed against her by accepting a penalty of “community service,” in order to avoid jail time.

Along with top congressional leaders, Napoles was charged with plunder in a 10-billion peso pork barrel scam in which taxpayer funds were funneled into bogus non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and into the personal accounts of Napoles and top legislators and government officials.

Attorney Lorna Kapunan told  The Adobo Chronicles that Napoles has agreed to perform community service for life instead of rotting in jail for her crime.

Asked about what kind of community service would be involved, Kapunan said that her client will serve as a housemaid for Dominga Cadelina, Napoles’ former househelp who was jailed last February for alleged qualified theft filed against her by Napoles.

Cadelina
Cadelina

Cadelina was recently ordered released from jail by the Makati City Regional Trial Court for lack of merit on the theft case filed against her.

This unprecedented plea bargain is the first known such case in which, in Kapunan’s words, “the master and servant roles are totally reversed.

OBAMA SEQUESTERS U.S. CONGRESS

imageWashington, D.C. – With no apparent compromise surrounding the two-day old government shutdown, President Barack Obama today signed an executive order to sequester the entire U.S. Congress.  Emerging from a meeting with top congressional leaders at The White House, Obama said the order is the last remaining option to end the Washington impasse.

As soon as the congress leaders returned to the U.S. Capitol, Obama ordered the National Guard to put up a barbed wire fence around the  Capitol building, practically locking in the legislators and their staff.  Minority leader Nancy Pelosi delivered a signed copy of the executive order to Speaker John Boehner as he banged the gavel to resume the legislative session early Thursday.

“The sequestration order will only be lifted after both the Senate and House of Representatives pass a budget bill to end the government shutdown, ” The White House said.

All the cafeterias within the Capitol Building have been locked down, but the National Guard will make daily deliveries of McDonald’s burgers and fries to feed the legislators and staff for the duration of the sequester.

FACEBOOK, GOOGLE, TWITTER THREATEN TO SHUT DOWN

imageSilicon Valley, California – As the government shutdown enters its second day — thanks to the stubborn Republicans and Tea Partiers in the U.S. Congress — three of the country’s social media giants threatened to go into their own shutdown unless the Legislature gets its act together soon.

Facebook, Google and Twitter issued a joint statement today saying that unless Congress passes a bill to reverse the government shutdown that went into effect yesterday, the social networking sites will also shut down their operations, essentially creating a total black screen on smart phones, tablets and computers.

Washington politicians know that  the shutting down of Facebook, Google and Twitter will  enrage millions of Americans who are already addicted to the social networks, and would, in effect, derail their chances of winning in next year’s midterm elections.

Facebook , Google and Twitter have given Congess until midnight tomorrow night to put up  or shut up. The companies are urging their customers to inundate the phones, Facebook  and Twitter pages, and web sites of their legislators  with text messages and posts to pressure them to pass legislation that would put the government back in operation.

None of the Relublican leaders could be reached for comment because they all had left the  Capitol early for happy hour in Washington, D.C. bars which were uncharacteristically empty tonight.

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