Los Angeles, California – In her latest television show, Philippine presidential sister and television host Kris Aquino showed off her new hairstyle which she called the ‘Miley Cyrus look.’
Upon being shown a clip of Aquino’s show, Miley Cyrus was reportedly fuming and asked her legal counsel to explore filing a defamation suit against Aquino. Cyrus apparently wasn’t happy with the comparison. “Kris looks nothing like me ” Cyrus said.
Manila, Philippines – Rice is the main staple food of the Filipinos. It is estimated that each household eats an average of almost 500 kilograms of rice per year. While Philippine farms produce rice quite extensively, the country often resorts to rice importation to supplement local demand.
It is therefore not surprising that Filipinos are alarmed at recent reports and studies showing the presence of arsenic (poison chemical) in rice and rice products. (See latest article from The New York Times).
To appease the growing anxiety among the population over arsenic-tainted rice, Philippine lawmakers have moved quickly to make pan de sal the new national staple in place of rice. The wheat-based delicacy is the Filipinos’ choice of breakfast bread or dinner roll.
While lawmakers realize that their action will cost the country millions of pesos in wheat importation, they said that the health and safety of the citizens are of greater concern. Wheat is not produced locally and the Philippines imports 100% of its wheat and flour requirements. The Philippines is one of the top destinations for U.S. wheat exports.
The lawmakers are confident that the Filipino people will adjust easily to the change in staple from rice to pan de sal because the latter goes well with many Filipino dishes like adobo, pancit,dinuguan, menudo and queso de bola.
Tokyo, Japan – Noting that Metro Manila’s traffic, infrastructure and housing problems can no longer be solved by the Philippines’ National Capital Region, Japan has offered to buy Metro Manila for $57 Billion.
The Japanese government, acting on a report by the Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA), made the offer to Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada and Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay. By purchasing Metro Manila, Japan hopes to implement JICA’s “Dream Plan” to solve once and for all Metro Manila’s decades-old woes.
The dream plan seeks to achieve by 2030, the five “No’s” considered to be the ultimate key to the revival of the dying metropolis : no traffic congestion, no excessive transport cost burden for low-income groups, no households living in high hazard risk areas, no barriers for seamless mobility of people and no air pollution.
Under the purchase proposal, Metro Manila will become a Prefecture of Japan and both the local and national governments of the Philippines will totally give up ownership and control of Metro Manila which consists of 17 cities and towns.
The only remaining obstacle to the proposed purchase is to determine how the $57 Billion will be divided among Philippine President Noynoy Aquino, Estrada, Binay and the rest of the mayors of the cities and towns of the metropolis.