Jollibee Testifies Before Philippine Senate On Pork Barrel Scam

imageManila, Philippines – The fat, stupid, happy bee is once again making headlines in the Philippines, just months after it put the  clown permanently out of business in this Asian country of almost 100 million people. See story on the merger of Jollibee and McDonald’s .

As charges of plunder were filed against Janet Lim-Napoles and ranking members of the Philippine Senate this week, the names of more politicians were implicated in testimonies by whistleblowers in the escalating pork barrel scam. The scam involves the diversion of more than 10 billion pesos of taxpayer money into the coffers of fake non-governmental organizations (NGOs) as well as into the pockets of national and local politicians.

In a privilege speech in the Senate, Senator Jinggoy Estrada, one of the Senators charged in the scam, decried what he termed “selective justice” by being singled out among many others who have personally benefited from this money scandal. During  his speech, Estrada suggested that Jollibee, one of the most successful food business enterprises in the country, also benefited from the pork barrel. Estrada did not reveal any details of the alleged involvement of Jollibee in the scam.

Yesterday, Jollibee was summoned to the floor of Congress to answer the allegation by Estrada.

Under oath, Jollibee made a very brief statement at the hearing, then took the Fifth, saying he refuses to answer any questions from the senators on the grounds that he might incriminate himself.

His brief statement: “I can assure this respectable chamber and our millions of loyal customers that Jollibee’s hamburgers are not tainted in any way by pork.  Our burgers are 100% beef.”

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KRISPY KREME IN HOT WATER OVER NEW PRODUCT

kztnManila, Philippines –  The North Carolina-based American company Krispy Kreme is in deep trouble because of its new product which recently made its debut in the Philippines.  But the controversy is not about the actual product itself, but about the name given to it.

Krispy Kreme launched its version of the now popular cronut — a cross between a croissant and a doughnut, and named it Krispy Kreme Kroissant.  Immediately, the governments of the Philippines and the United States protested the name because of the resulting acronym: KKK.

In the Philippines, KKK stands for Kataastaasang, Kagalanggalangang Katipunan, a secret revolutionary society formed to fight the colonial  Spanish regime in the late 1890’s.  In the U.S., KKK stands for Ku Klux Klan  or the “Hooded Order,” a far-right organization which advocated extremist white supremacy, white nationalism and anti-immigration expressed through terrorism.

Philippine officials said that naming the baked products after the much-respected KKK is an insult to the heroism and nationalism of the men and women who gave up their lives in order to gain independence from Spain.  U.S. officials, on the other hand, said that it cannot allow an American business entity to promote the ideals of an extremist and violent organization.

Krispy Kreme has not returned calls from The Adobo Chronicles inquiring whether or not the company plans to rename its cronut product which, by the way, comes in chocolate, apple, cinnamon, strawberry and vanilla cream flavors.

APPLE TO RELEASE LIMITED EDITION iPHONE 5S TRIO

imageCupertino, California – As Apple rolled out its new iPhone 5S today, many consumers faced the dilemma of which color phone to purchase: silver, gold or space grey.

There’s good news for those who can’t decide on the iPhone color.  Apple has just announced that it will soon release a limited edition of the new iPhone 5S which will incorporate all three colors, or rather, three phones in one.

imageApple has partnered with the makers of the Rubix Cube to come up with a design with all three phones – silver, gold and space grey.  The single unit has all three phones connected by a special mechanism that  can rotate the phones and put the phone user’s favorite color of the moment at the top of the unit.  The mechanism uses the same principle used in Rubix cubes whereby, with skill, one can manipulate the cube to bring one color on top.

The limited edition iPhone 5S has one downside, and that is, it is obviously heavier than the single unit.  “But for the fickle-minded, it is a little price to pay to enjoy all three colors of the phone ” Apple said.  Apple has not yet revealed the retail cost of the limited edition which it is calling the iPhone 5S Trio.

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