GOOGLE ANNOUNCES PRESCRIPTION GOOGLE GLASS

imageSilicon Valley, California – Imagine being an owner of a Google glass, when in fact, you already wear prescription glasses or contact lenses for being far-sighted. This makes Google’s latest innovation not only impractical but also unfashionable.

When Google first unveiled Google glass, the American Society of Opthalmology threatened to sue the Silicon Valley technology giant for unfair business practice and discrimination.

In an impromptu announcement over the July 4th weekend, Google founder and CEO  Larry Page said that Google is poised to unveil the prescription version of its newest baby in the next two weeks.  Asked by The Adobo Chronicles how much the prescription Google glass would cost, Page said it would not be more than $1,500 plus the normal cost of prescription lenses. Scratch proof and anti-reflective options would be extra.

Upon learning about the prescription version of Google glass, LensCrafters immediately asked Google that it be the exclusive distributor of the product, assuring Page that it will keep its promise to its customers of “glasses made in an hour.”

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SNOWDEN CONSIDERS OPTIONS TO GET TO VENEZUELA

imageMoscow, Russia – Now that President Nocolás Maduro of Venezuela  has offered asylum to fugitive intelligence contractor Edward Snowden, there is a lot of speculation on how the American accused of espionage will get to the South American country. Snowden remains holed up at the Moscow airport.

Pundits have ruled out swimming as a means for Snowden to get to Caracas because of the shark-infested waters between Russia and Venezuela.

Snowden is reportedly considering two options. One is to pack himself on a UPS package. Julian Assange of WikiLeaks has offered to pay for shipping and customs charges.  The other option is to request President Maduro to send his presidential plane to fetch him  in Moscow.

Snowden’s advisers believe that the second option is more viable considering the controversy and diplomatic issue generated by the recent incident in which the plane of  Bolivia’s president was denied rights to fly across four European nations on suspicion that Snowden might be on board. The advisers say that the U.S. and the European countries will not  risk creating another diplomatic controversy by interfering with the Venezuelan president’s flight.

An international drug cartel has offered to pay for the fuel should Maduro decide to send his presidential plane to fetch Snowden from Moscow.

Meanwhile, eyewitnesses have said that Snowden has been spending his wait time listening to his Rosetta Stone DVD to brush up on his Spanish.

HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FILES CLASS-ACTION SUIT

imageWashington, D.C. -Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the dominant LGBT organization, has filed a multi-million law suit against the eleven million undocumented immigrants in the U.S. The class-action suit is the first ever filed against millions of defendants. In most cases, it is the other way around — millions suing a single individual or entity.

According to papers filed in the District of Columbia, HRC is suing for copyright infringement involving its “equal sign” logo.  Many will recall that the HRC logo, and variations of it, went viral as Facebook users changed their profile photos to the logo during the weeks prior to the Supreme Court handing down its decisions on the Defense of Marriage Act and Prop 8.

When the U.S. Senate began deliberating on the proposed Comprehensive Immigration Reform Bill – which ultimately passed with a 68-32 vote — millions of undocumented immigrants changed their Facebook profile photos to a graphic that had the number 11 on it. HRC claims that the immigrants simply took the HRC logo and turned it clockwise at 90 degrees. image

In response to an email question from The Adobo Chronicles, a spokesperson who refused to reveal his/her sexual orientation, the HRC rep said it doesn’t matter that an estimated 267,000 LGBTs currently in the U.S. are undocumented. “The integity of the HRC logo is what’s at stake here,” the spokesperson said.

Calls to the 11 million undocumented immigrants for comment on the  law suit have not been returned.

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