Category Archives: Politics

PAYBACK TIME FOR U.S. REPUBLICAN LEGISLATORS

imageWashington, D.C. – The U.S. government shutdown has ended, but the damage to the economy has been done.

The ratings agency  S&P has cut the annualized U.S. growth rate closer to 2% from 3%, saying that the shutdown has taken $24 billion out of the U.S. economy.  The agency also cut 0.6% off of the yearly fourth quarter GDP growth.

Upon the recommendation of his top financial advisers, President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order that would restitute what has been lost in the economy because of this nonsensical shutdown strategy orchestrated by the Republican and Tea Party leaders.

The EO mandates that the Republican legislators pay back the $24 billion lost because of the two-week shutdown.  Each of the 46 Republicans in the Senate and the 232 Republicans in the House of Representatives has been asked to pay the U.S. government $73 million. The deadline for the restitution is November 1, 2013.  The Obama administration has denied requests from the Republican legislators for an installment plan.

The Adobo Chronicles has learned that the country’s largest banks have offered the legislators unsecured personal loans to enable them to meet their obligations under the EO. The banks, however, are charging the legislators enormous interest rates ranging from 24.9% to 36.8 %.

REPUBLICANS, DEMOCRATS TRY MUSIC DIPLOMACY IN GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN STANDOFF

Carrie Underwood
Carrie Underwood

Washington, D.C. – Politicians have tried it all — including “beer diplomacy” — to settle their differences, especially those that are entrenched along party lines.  This time, Republicans and Democrats are trying something different, weeks after negotiations continue to fail over ending the government shutdown. They are using music!

At its caucus meeting this morning, the Republican Party invited Grammy Award-winner Carrie Underwood, a registered Republican, to open their session with the song “Amazing Grace.”  The Republicans skipped the usual prayer invocation. A source who was present at the closed-door meeting told The Adobo Chronicles that Carrie’s rendition of this religious classic seemed to have greatly inspired the caucus members to keep on fighting to advance their anti-Obamacare agenda as the primary negotiating point in the budget battle.

The Dixie Chicks
The Dixie Chicks

On the other side of the aisle, the Democrats, meeting at the Rose Garden of The White House to strategize their next move on the government shutdown, invited the Dixie Chicks to open their meeting.  The Grammy Award-winning trio gained notoriety when they criticized George W. Bush  during a 2003 concert in London.  At the concert, they said they were “ashamed” that the President was from Texas. The trio also hails from the Lone Star State.  As soon as the Dixie Chicks began their opening hit song, Democrats roared in approval and applause.  The song? “Not Ready to Make Nice.”

Judging from the musical strategies of either party, there seems to be no immediate end in sight for the government shutdown.

ON ‘NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY,’ JOHN BOEHNER COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET

2010-12-13-BoehnerWashington, D.C. – Speaker John Boehner chose today, “National Coming Out Day,” to finally  come out of the closet. The pink-tanned, teary-eyed  leader of the Republican Party, announced to his colleagues in the House chamber that he can no longer go against his conscience or continue to hide his real identity.

Boehner, whose leadership has been questioned by his own party because of his inability to solve many political crises, not the least of which is the current stalemate around the government shutdown, said he was stepping down as Speaker of the House and severing his ties with the GOP, effectively immediately.

Boehner’s shocking revelation angered Republican and Tea Party loyalists.

“I am a closeted Democrat,” Boehner said in a privilege speech before the House, “and I am very sorry to have misled everybody with my false identity.” “I am a card-carrying Democrat and all these years I have been posing as a conservative Republican.  The reason I have been espousing indefensible and stupid policies is because I wanted to embarrass the Republican Party.  People often wondered why as Speaker, I have been consistently stubborn, refusing to negotiate with the President and the Democrats despite overwhelming negative public opinion against the Republicans. Till the very end, I have refused to admit that we Republicans caused the government shutdown.  Well, now you know.  I was out to destroy the Republican Party at any cost, and I think I have successfully accomplished that.”

Asked if he had any future plans to run for office under the banner of the Democratic Party, Boehner said, “I have duly served my country by being a closeted Democrat.  I am ready to go into retirement.”  I have my health care, my hefty pension and the admiration of the American people.  What else can I ask for?”

After his speech, Boehner left the Capitol and proceeded to The White House where he and President Obama will have an intimate, private dinner.