Category Archives: Politics

GOVERNMENTS TO PHASE OUT PASSPORTS AS WE KNOW IT

imageNew York, New York – If pets can have it, why can’t humans?  With this common sense-question before it, a top-level immigration sub-committee of the United  Nations is busy drafting an international code that would all but eliminate passports as we know it.

Currently, most countries issue and require machine-readable passports as part of their immigration laws. These passports have greatly facilitated entry procedures worldwide by a simple scan of the travel documents.

The new code will instead require travelers and citizens to have their citizenship and residency information stored in microchips implanted in their forearms. It would be similar to microchips implanted in pets.

The sub-committee members said that this technonogical change would not only reduce long lines at ports of entry at airports, border checkpoints and disembarking piers worldwide, but also reduce the incidence of fake passports which continue to be a big problem.

Visa information, if required, would also be incorporated into the microchips. Any updates or change in personal information and status can be easily changed by logging on to the Internet with a unique password provided by the issuing government agency.

The new rules are expected to be in effect by January 1, 2016.  Have a microchip? Will travel!

GOOGLE TRYING TO COURT FUGITIVE EDWARD SNOWDEN

imageMountain View, California –  Will 2014 prove to be a banner year for American fugitive Edward Snowden?  Mr. Snowden is now living in Russia, on the run from American charges of espionage and theft relating the National Security Agency top secret leaks.

First, The New York Times Editorial Board published an op-ed piece calling for an offer of clemency or plea bargain for Mr. Snowden, considering the value of his leaks and the N.S.A. abuse he has exposed.

Now, the country’s premier tech company Google is reportedly in secret negotiations with Snowden, offering him a hefty-paying position in Mountain View upon his return to the U.S.

The Adobo Chronicles has learned that Google has hit a snag and plateau in terms of the marketing of its much-ballyhooed product, the Google Glass.  “Obviously, we needed a recognizable and controversial face to model our product, and what could be a better choice than Snowden,” said Google CEO Larry Page.  “He’s also easy on the eyes, and the Google Glass fits perfectly on the well-defined contours of his face,” Page added.

Analysts, however,  suspect that having Mr. Snowden be the model for the Google Glass is just a front, and that Google’s real intention is to make Snowden the chief of its Internet Surveillance Department which would monitor any secret or unauthorized intrusion by the N.S.A. into Google’s data system.

IMELDA MARCOS PROPOSES NAME CHANGE FROM PHILIPPINES TO QUEENS ISLANDS

imageQuezon City, Philippines – In her first legislative proposal for the year 2014, Representative Imelda Marcos (2nd district, Ilocos Norte) has authored a bill that would rename the Philippines to Queens Islands.The proposed bill is premised on the Philippines’ extraordinary performance in major international beauty pageants in 2013. The country of more than 7,100 islands has produced 4 international beauty queens last year: Miss World, Miss Supranational, Miss International and Miss Tourism International. The Philippines also won fourth place in the 2013 Miss Universe Pageant. This extraordinary feat has prompted international beauty pageant organizers to ban the Philippines from competing in the next several years.

“Beauty is inherent in the Filipino people,” the former Philippine First Lady said, “and renaming our country to Queens Islands will give us more widespread recognition in the world community.”

Marcos was a former beauty queen herself, having won the titles of “Rose of Tacloban,” “Miss Leyte,” and “Muse of Manila,” in the mid-1950’s.  In 1974, as First Lady, she was able to secure the Miss Universe Pageant to be held in Manila for the first time ever.