London, U.K. – Reaction to the chosen name of Prince William and Duchess Kate’s first-born was varied — from elation to disappointment.
The Roman Catholic Church could not be happier with the name George Alexander Louis because it combines the names of three kings. It doesn’t matter that the biblical three kings were actually named Melchor, Gaspar and Baltazar. “When people hear ‘three kings,’ the first thing that comes to mind are the wise men who traveled from their far away kingdoms to pay their respects to the newly-born Baby Jesus,” the Vatican said.
Fans of British singer George Michael were disappointed that the royal baby was not named after their gay idol. After all, like the singer, it took the royal baby a long time to come out, the fans said.
Across continents, people named George, Alexander or Louis — and their variations ranging from Jorge to Alejandro to Luis — were celebrating, claiming on their Facebook pages and Twitter accounts that the royal baby was named after them.
Amid all the reaction, an official announcement from Buckingham Palace said that the Prince and Duchess have decided to rescind the name they gave the baby boy after it was pointed out by Royal advisers that George Alexander Louis actually spelled the acronym, “GAL.” The announcement further said that William and Kate would rather have their first-born grow up to be king instead of queen.
And so the world waits one more time. What new name will be picked?
Hollywood, California – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences today announced that the 2014 Oscar Awards Night has been moved to a new venue. And it is not in Hollywood, but in the Philippines. In an email alert to members of the Hollywood Press Association, the Academy said that because of the importance of the red carpet ceremonies which precede the handing out of the Oscar statuettes to the best of the best in the film industry, it needed to find a venue that can host the all-important “who are you wearing?” pre-festivities. And host it well. The Academy also wanted an international group of fashion police since it’s tired of the aging Joan Rivers and the “E!” anchors and reporters.
Members of the Academy board made the decision after viewing the State of the Nation Address (SONA) by Philippine President Noynoy Aquino at the Batasang Pambansa (National Assembly building) last Monday. The almost two-hour speech (the equivalent of the U.S. State of the Union Address), was preceded by the usual fashion parade of politicians, their spouses and other invited celebrities and guests. This year’s SONA red carpet was extremely sensational as attendees donned the best creations of the country’s top designers, jewelers and shoemakers. Designs ranged from flowing ternos (the national dress) and hand-painted barong tagalogs (the national male formal attire) to rainbow-colored, ethnic-inspired gowns and floor-length dangling earrings.
The morning after front page coverage of all the major dailies highlighted the fashion extravaganza while relegating the text of Aquino’s speech to their B-2 sections.
“The Philippines sure knows how to stage an elaborate red carpet,” the Academy noted, adding that the change in venue from Hollywood to Quezon City, will ensure a billion or more worldwide viewers of the televised Oscar ceremonies.
London, U.K. – Most everyone is familiar with postpartum depression which affects 10-20 percent of childbearing women. But doctors at the Royal Centre for Defence Medicine have discovered a rare form of depression that afflicts individuals other than the women giving birth. Amid the frenzy over the impending birth of the first child of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, doctors announced that the first patient they have ever diagnosed with this rare depression was no less than Prince Harry.
Doctors are calling this disease “prepartum depression,” apparently caused by panic or anxiety over an impending birth of a child. Hospital records show that Prince Harry has been suffering from this condition for 9 months now. It began immediately after the announcement that the Duchess of Cambridge was pregnant.
The Senior Psychiatrist at the Centre, speaking to paparazzis camped outside the facility, said that Prince Harry’s depression was caused by the fact that the younger brother of Prince William has been “deposed” from his spot in the ascendancy to the British throne. Prior to the pregnancy of Kate Middleton, Prince Harry was 3rd in line to inherit the throne, next to Prince Charles and Prince William. Prince Harry was reportedly resorting to drugs and alcohol, as well as behavior not befitting of royalty, since he learned of the arrival of the Royal Baby.
Doctors are closely monitoring Prince Harry’s condition, but would not confirm whether the Prince’s depression would automatically convert to postpartum depression once the Royal Baby is born.