Subic, Philippines – A leaked document from the Philippine Department of Foreign Affairs has revealed secret negotiatons between the United States and the Philippines that could lead to this Southeast Asian country becoming the 51st U.S. state.
The statehood movement, which is not new, stalled in 1992 when street protests by Filipinos eventually led to the closure of all U.S. military bases in the country.
The leak comes in the wake of a recent request from the U.S. government for an expanded military role in the Philippines under the guise of protecting Philippine interests in its ongoing territorial conflict with China. The request would allow American forces to stay in the Philippines for longer periods of time and be stationed at Philippine military bases. Critics have immediately protested the request saying, “The American military forces are already enjoying a tourist visa, now they also want a working visa?”
On the other side of the coin, supporters of the statehood movement say that it only makes sense that the Philippines become the 51st U.S. state, citing the facts that Filipinos already speak English, value the dollar more than the peso (as evidenced by foreign exchange centers in malls and street corners, are addicted to Hollywood movies, and already observe American special days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. They also pointed out that Filipinos are everywhere around the globe. This, they said, would further boost America’s presence on the world stage.
In a statement from the U.S. Embassy in Manila, it was also pointed out that making the Philippines the 51st U.S. state would significantly reduce the embassy’s workload in processing tourist, work and immigrant visas for Filipinos.
Las Vegas, Nevada — This year’s Miss Universe Pageant will be held on November 9 in Moscow. The crowning ceremonies will be at the Crocus City Hall.
This year’s pageant will see not one, but three contestants of Filipino heritage: Miss Philippines Ariella Arida, Miss Canada Riza Santos, and Miss Gabon, Ruth Jennifer Ondo Mouchita.
The Miss Universe organization issued new rules this week. The contestant who wins in the Best Evening Gown competition will be exempted from the final question. It is common knowledge that many frontrunners in the pageant end up losing the crown because of not-so-smart answers to the final question asked of the top five finalists.
The last three years saw the Philippines so close to winning the coveted crown, so the Binibining Pilipinas Charities, franchise holder of the Miss Philippines Universe Pageant, is leaving no stone unturned to win the crown this year. The Charities has commissioned a top Filipino designer to design the eveninng gown of Miss Philippines to ensure that she is exempted from the final question.
Aware that Pageant owner Donald Trump has a hand in deciding the Best in Evening Gown winner, the Filipino designer came up with a design that incorporates the Trump Tower in Las Vegas. The designer said that Miss Arida, whose features are a cross between Beyonce and Nicole Scherzinger of Pussycat Dolls, will look stunning in this never before seen gown.
The Adobo Chronicles wishes Miss Arida the best of luck!
Moscow, Russia – Now that President Nocolás Maduro of Venezuela has offered asylum to fugitive intelligence contractor Edward Snowden, there is a lot of speculation on how the American accused of espionage will get to the South American country. Snowden remains holed up at the Moscow airport.
Pundits have ruled out swimming as a means for Snowden to get to Caracas because of the shark-infested waters between Russia and Venezuela.
Snowden is reportedly considering two options. One is to pack himself on a UPS package. Julian Assange of WikiLeaks has offered to pay for shipping and customs charges. The other option is to request President Maduro to send his presidential plane to fetch him in Moscow.
Snowden’s advisers believe that the second option is more viable considering the controversy and diplomatic issue generated by the recent incident in which the plane of Bolivia’s president was denied rights to fly across four European nations on suspicion that Snowden might be on board. The advisers say that the U.S. and the European countries will not risk creating another diplomatic controversy by interfering with the Venezuelan president’s flight.
An international drug cartel has offered to pay for the fuel should Maduro decide to send his presidential plane to fetch Snowden from Moscow.
Meanwhile, eyewitnesses have said that Snowden has been spending his wait time listening to his Rosetta Stone DVD to brush up on his Spanish.