Category Archives: International

ADOBO CHRONICLES RESPONDS TO LAWSUIT THREAT

imageCampbell, California- Today, The Adobo Chronicles  received a threatening email from someone claiming to be a representative of Rose Fostanes, the Filipina caregiver who won the first season of X Factor Israel . “Ofer” threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our story on Fostanes’ winning the Israeli Lottery.

Here’s our response:

Dear Ofer,

Thank you for taking the time to read and react to our story about Rose Fostanes winning the Israeli Lottery.

At the outset, please know that we are a fan of Fostanes.  We have followed her path from being a caregiver to becoming the Filipino Susan Boyle. Filipinos the world over are truly proud of her, as are we.

We were pissed when we first learned that Fostanes could not be paid as a performer/singer in Israel because her work permit only allowed her to earn income from being a caregiver.  We rejoiced when the Israeli goverment bent its rules and allowed Fostanes to get paid for her recording contracts and concerts going forward. We even think The Adobo Chronicles had something to do with the Israeli government’s change of heart (okay, that may be giving ourselves too much credit).

You claim to represent Fostanes and threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our published story. If you are indeed a legitimate representative of Fostanes, we say “bring it on!”

However we have a few requests:

1. Please read up on “satire ,” “parody” and FOI (do you even know what it stands for?)

2. Don’t just read our stories on Fostanes. Read our entire news site, especially the “About” page.  Maybe it will help you chill quite a bit.

3. Lastly, if you will be so kind as to mail us an “eraser” from Office Depot or Staples, we will be so ever appreciative because honestly, we stopped using erasers 20 years ago.

P.S. Have you ever considered joining the Spelling Bee?  Or just install autocorrect on the DOS program on your computer for heavens sake.

Affectionately,

The Adobo Chronicles Editorial Board

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OBAMA’S AUDIENCE WITH POPE FRANCIS WILL BE VOID OF THE USUAL PROTOCOL

imageThe Vatican – When in Rome, do as the Romans do; when in The Vatican, do as the Pope does.

Both The Vatican and The White House have confirmed that U.S. President Barack Obama will meet with Pope Francis on March 27. It is no secret that Obama had always wanted to have an audience with the leader of the Roman Catholic Church.

Obama’s official visit to The Vatican will not be like any other by a sitting U.S. president. Pope Francis has insisted that any bureaucratic and elitist protocols by The White House or the U.S. State Department must be thrown out the door the moment Obama steps into Vatican territory.

No secret service agents will be allowed past the gates of The Vatican. There will not be any presidential limousine that will take Obama into and around The Vatican (Instead, the Obamas will share rides with the Pope in his old, borrowed Fiat). Both Barack and Michelle  will  stay in the same apartment that Pope Francis is staying in along with other Roman priests. And instead of the usual state dinner, the Obamas will join Pope Francis that evening in sneaking out of  The Vatican to minister to the homeless.

The Obamas seem not to have any problems with The Vatican’s conditions, except for one thing: the Obamas cannot bring First Dog Bo into the papal apartment because Pope Francis is allergic to dogs. That means Bo will have to stay behind in Washington, D.C. in the care of the Obamas’ pet sitter.

PHILIPPINE TAXWOMAN GOES AFTER THE BIG FISH: MANNY PACQUIAO AND ROSE FOSTANES

L-R: Pacquiao, Fostanes, Henares
L-R: Pacquiao, Fostanes, Henares

Manila, Philippines – Got money? Watch out,  Kim Henares will go after you.

Henares is the commissioner of the Philippines’ Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR), the counterpart of the U.S. Internal Revenue Service (IRS).  She has gained the reputation of going after the big fish – Filipinos like world boxing champion Manny Pacquiao and newly-crowned X Factor Israel winner Rose Fostanes. Henares wants a chunk of their earnings abroad.

Analysts say that Henares’ actions are a desperate attempt to  save her tax agency from bankruptcy. The BIR, which many Filipinos consider among the most corrupt agencies, continues to face declining revenues due to  widespread tax evasion schemes especially among the country’s richest tycoons.

However, The Adobo Chronicles learned that Pacquiao and Fostanes are joining hands to challenge Henares in court and prevent her from taxing their foreign earnings. In papers to be filed in court  today, Pacquiao and Fostanes claim that the BIR has no authority to collect taxes from their prize money earned in the U.S.  and Israel, respectively.

“That is why the agency is called Bureau of INTERNAL Revenue,” lawyers said, so earnings outside the Philippines should be off limits to  the tax agency.”

Makes perfect sense.