Category Archives: Government

IMMIGRATION OFFICIALS ‘HIGH’ WHEN THEY ISSUED DEPORTATION ORDER FOR U.S. MARINE CHARGED WITH THE MURDER OF FILIPINO TRANSGENDER WOMAN

imageMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Bureau of Immigration (BI) officials admitted that they were ‘high’ on drugs when they ordered the deportation of US Marine Joseph Scott Pemberton, the primary suspect in the murder of Filipino transgender woman Jennifer Laude in October of last year.

Laude, 26, was found dead in the bathroom of a motel in Olongapo City. An autopsy report said that she died by asphyxiation due to drowning and strangulation.

According to witnesses, Laude was last seen checking in at the motel with Pemberton. The two had met at a nearby bar, where Pemberton was spending the night with fellow servicemen from the USS Peleliu, after participating in US-Philippines joint military exercises in Subic.

The BI order was based on  guidelines calling for the deportation of “undesirable aliens.”  Criminal offense is sufficient ground to declare an alien “undesirable,” the BI said.

Pemberton is currently being detained at a US facility inside Camp Aguinaldo in Quezon City.

Almost immediately following BI’s announcement of the deportation order, LGBT activists and legal luminaries criticized the agency for preempting the results of the ongoing murder trial. “How can the agency order the expulsion of a foreigner who is facing murder charges?  It almost sends the wrong message that if a foreigner commits a crime in the Philippines, he would face deportation and escape punishment,” they said.

‘How about the BI shut up and wait for the trial to proceed before making such  a stupid announcement,” a Manila transgender activist said.

Realizing their misjudgment and incompetency, top officials of BI issued an apology. “We should have realized that if Pemberton were convicted, he’d be facing imprisonment in the Philippines.  We didn’t mean to imply that we will be deporting a convicted murderer and setting him free by expelling him from the country,” they added.

Meanwhile, LGBT activists are planning to sue BI officials for incompetency and lack of common sense.

 

FCC ORDERS SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE TO GIVE EQUAL TIME TO ALL CANDIDATES

Hillary on SNL
Hillary on SNL

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has ordered Saturday Night Live (SNL) to have each of the remaining 36 Republican presidential candidates host a future episode of the late-night comedy television show.

SNL had previously announced that Donald Trump will host the November 7 episode, prompting complaints from the rest of the Republican  candidate field.

FCC rules mandate that if free airtime was granted to a candidate over the public airwaves, equal time had to be made available to his or her opponent, if it was requested.

Well, all of Trump’s opponents requested equal time.

So there you have it, for 35 weeks after November 7  viewers will be treated to a GOP presidential candidate hosting SNL, starting with Ben Carson.

On the Democratic side, since Hillary Clinton appeared for a short segment of SNL recently, each of the Democratic presidential candidates (except Jim Webb who dropped out of the race today) will be given  the same amount of time on the show.

That, folks, is how Demoracy works!