Oslo, Norway – A special Nobel Prize was announced today by the board of governors of this annual international award-giving body. The recipient: the Philippines’ Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) . This once-in-a-blue-moon award is given to an individual or entity that comes up with and implements an above par humanitarian idea leading to the relief of citizens and countries in need, especially those affected by severe natural disasters.
The only other time the special humanitarian prize was awarded was in 1913 – exactly 100 years ago — but no record exists on who received that award. The very first Nobel awards were given out in 1901. It is believed that an intern working for the Nobel organization in 1913 misplaced the records.
DTI was awarded the humanitarian prize for its brilliant idea to help Filipinos in many provinces in Central Philippines who were left homeless and hungry in the aftermath of the strongest typhoon ever to make landfall anywhere in history. Billed “Diskwento Caravan” (Discount Caravan), the DTI project offered basic goods at discounted prices, including bottled water, canned goods, coffee, milk, noodles, rice, biscuits, bread, condiments and personal care products. DTI regional director for Central Visayas Asteria Caberte said that through the caravans, the department is helping replenish local supply of goods to stabilize the situation in those provinces.
Asked by The Adobo Chronicles why there was a need to “sell” the goods to the typhoon victims when millions of cash and donated items have been pouring in from all over the world to help with typhoon relief, DTI said “We work independently from private relief agencies or the local governments. We are only concerned with our own project and it is in addition to what relief operations are already out there.” It added: “We are proud of what we’re doing to help our countrymen in need, while making a little money ourselves to boost our department’s discretionary funds.”
The special Nobel medal will be given out at a special ceremony in Oslo on Christmas eve.
Washington D.C. – The Washington Redskins. Sushi chef Halloween costume. A Michigan-based punk band named Crucifucks. And now, Katy Perry’s American Music Awards performance. The Tea Party has had it. It thinks political correctness in the U.S. has gone over the top.
At an emergency meeting this morning, the Tea Party faction of the Republican Party proposed a legislation that would permanently outlaw any form of political correctness in this country. “We need to banish ‘PC’ from the face of the earth,” a Tea Party statement said, adding that ” political correctness is bad for business and is inconsistent with the American mantra of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Can anyone ever have free speech?”
The last straw for the Tea Party legislators came last night after the televised opening number by Katy Perry at the American Music Awards. She performed the song “Unconditionally” dressed in traditional Geisha dress — except for the slits– surrounded by similarly -clad dancers waving giant fans and twirling paper umbrellas.
Twitterworld was immediately bombarded with cries of “racism” and “utter insensitivity.” Not all comments were negative, though. One Japanese twitterer said, “I am not offended. In fact I am honored! Katy loves Japan and the Japanese people love her.”
The proposed legislation is scheduled to be filed when Congress reconvenes after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. This gives everyone one last chance to post or tweet offensive turkey jokes.
Jakarta, Indonesia – Ah, the power of social media! Less than a week after the Philippines was disqualified from beauty pageants for the next two years, the Association of Beauty Pageant Franchise Holders (ABPFH), voted today to add Venezuela and Brazil to the list.
Millions of netizens took to the Internet to protest ABPFH’s earlier ruling singling out the Philippines from among many other countries which have also done well in beauty pageants over the years.
Aside from the Philippines, Venezuela and Brazil have also succeeded in winning the crown for the “big four” international beauty pageants, Miss Universe, Miss World, Miss International and Miss Earth.
Venezuela has won 7 Miss Universe titles, 6 Miss World titles and 6 Miss International titles. It won the Miss Earth title in 2005. The first country to win all four pageants was Brazil when it won Miss Earth in 2004.
The ABPFH, however, denied that it caved in to pressure from netizens. It said its decision was based upon Venezuela’s and Brazil’s recent victories in the 2013 Mister International Contest held last week in Jakarta, Indonesia. Venezuelan Jose Anmer Paredes was crowned the winner, while Jhonatan Marko of Brazil was 2nd runner-up. The Philippines’ Gil Wagas placed 5th.
ABPFH also clarified that the ban will not take effect until after this year’s Miss International Pageant which will take place on December 17 in Tokyo, Japan.
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