All posts by Pol Pinoy

MOVE OVER ARNOLD, HERE COMES MR. WORLD

John Spainhour, the Philippines' entry to Mr. World 2014
John Spainhour, the Philippines’ entry to Mr. World 2014

Torbay, The English Riviera (The Adobo Chronicles) – Before he became a movie actor and governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger was Mr. Universe, at a time when male beauty was  measured by biceps,  triceps and six-pack abs. Well those days are gone.

On June 15, the most beautiful – and hopefully talented – men from across the globe will gather in Torbay in The English Riviera for the Mr. World Pageant. It is the male counterpart of Miss World.

It is a beauty contest that equality seeking men have long been clamoring for, while being a competition that would finally silence feminists who have been protesting beauty pageants and labeling them a “commercialization of women.” Now it’s fair and square.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, a.k.a. Mr. Universe
Arnold Schwarzenegger, a.k.a. Mr. Universe

One hunded million Filipinos are bracing themselves for pageant day, confident that their country’s representative, John Spainhour, will bag the coveted title.

International beauty crowns are not a rare commodity for the Philippines.  It has won all of the major international beauty titles to boot, including Miss World, Miss Universe and Miss International. Almost every weekend, there is a beauty contest being held in the Philippines on the national, local and neighborhood levels.  When Champion boxer Manny Pacquaio fights in the ring, the entire country comes to a stand still, as is the case when a Filipina beauty competes in an international beauty pageant.

Expect male beauty pageants to become the norm in the Philippines in the next few years or so. After all, Filipinos are among the most beautiful people in the world, male and female both.

The Adobo Chronicles wishes Spainhour the best of luck!

 

 

STEVE BALLMER INCREASES PURCHASE PRICE FOR CLIPPERS TO 3 BILLION DOLLARS

Steve Ballmer
Steve Ballmer

Seattle, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) – The news that former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has offered to buy the Los Angeles Clippers for Two Billion dollars hasn’t sinked in yet for most people, but already, the Seattle-based billionnaire has  increased his offer to Three Billion.

Ballmer’s new offer came minutes after former Clippers owner Donald Sterling announced he was suing the National Basketball Association (NBA) for One Billion dollars. In the complaint obtained by The Los Angeles Times, Sterling alleged the NBA committed antitrust violations, breached contracts and denied his constitutional rights.

This entire circus was promptd by Sterling’s much-publicized racist comments made to his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, regarding her association with black people.

In speaking with The Adobo Chronicles, Ballmer said, “I’m sick and tired of this lawsuit sh*t. If Sterling wants to sue for One Billions Dollars, I’ll give him One Billion Dollars so he can move on and go into retirement in Alaska or wherever he feels comfortable living in.”

“So today, I am announcing that I am increasing my purchase price for the Clippers to Theee Billion, and Sterling can keep the One Billion and just shut the f*ck up,” Ballmer added.

Controversy solved!

Disclaimer: Ballmer’s photo shows him raising five fingers, but he is only committing to Three Billion.

 

TAX-EVADING MANNY PACQUIAO PLANS TO BUY AN ENTIRE ISLAND

Manny Pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao

Sarangani, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Manny Pacquiao: world champion boxer, congressman, soon-to-be basketball player and coach, potential 2016 presidential candidate, billionaire and tax evader. What’s next for ‘Pacman?’

Today, Pacquaio announced his retirement plans to buy an entire island in Palawan, the southwestern Philippine province known for its pristine beaches, breath-taking land formations and world-class resorts and tourist destinations. There he will build his retirement home, or is it palace?

Immediately following the announcement, Bureau of Internal Revenue Commissioner Kim Henares put out a “keep an eye advisory” to the tax agency’s Palawan branch to make sure that Pacquiao will pay the appropriate property and other applicable taxes in connection with his planned island purchase. Previously, Henares had charged Pacquiao of  failing to pay taxes for his earnings in the boxing ring.

Pacquiao has dominated the headlines lately. In addition to his tax woes, he is reportedly eyeing the Philippine presidency come the 2016 elections. He has sealed an advertising agreement with KIA and signed up to be the Korean car company’s basketball player and coach in the Philippines’ professional basketball league. It was also revealed that Pacquiao remains to be the only billionnaire member of Congress, not to mention being the number one absentee.

Pacquiao is also known as ‘karaoke king, ” but almost everyone knows that already.

Pacquiao is still deciding which island in Palawan he will purchase.