We know you had to go through pins and needles to get your visitor’s visa to the United States, and you’re rarin’ to hop on that plane after your siblings and cousins chipped in so you could pay for your discounted ticket and provide you with some pocket money. After all, you’re visiting the most powerful country in the world, the No. 1 Economy, the Bastion of Democracy, Home of the Brave — not to mention Hollywood, Universal Studios, and Broadway.
But for heaven’s sake, think twice, thrice, a dozen times. You might end up coming back home to the Philippines in a body bag!
In just the last 24 hours, two mass shootings occurred in America — one in El Paso, Texas; and the other in Dayton, Ohio. What’s more, just in the month of July this year, over 50 mass shootings were recorded across America, not just a few of which were prompted by hatred for browned-skinned people like yourselves.
So we advice you to cancel your U.S. trip and stay in the Philippines. Your’re a thousand times safer here despite all the fake news about EJKs supposedly being perpetrated by the government. Buhay ka pa naman, di ba?
But if you absolutely have to travel to America, heed our advice:
- Don’t go to Churches or Mosques
- Don’t watch live concerts or ball games, or watch Hollywood films in cinemas
- Don’t bring your apos or pamangkins to their schools
- Don’t go shopping at the malls, even when there is a huge sale
- Stay away from Central Park, Golden Gate Park or Parking garages
- Avoid the freeways, highways, or the Crookedest Street in San Francisco
- Don’t go on a Cruise
- Avoid all subways
- Don’t go gambling in Las Vegas or Atlantic City
- Don’t watch any parades
- When in public, speak softly to hide your accent
- Just stay home with your U.S. citizen relatives and friends. We’re sure they have Netflix