LENSCRAFTERS OFFERS SNOWDEN A MODELING JOB

imageMason, Ohio – LensCrafters, the nationwide eyeglass chain known for its mantra of “glasses in an hour,” has offered Edward Snowden, the fugitive former employee of a contractor for the National Security Administration who leaked secret damaging documents to the media, a job as an eyeglass model.  The Ohio-based company was apparently mesmerized by the photos of Snowden that have appeared in the media worldwide, showing Snowden sporting a stylish pair of eyglasses.

“His good looks with those glasses would make him the perfect eyeglass model for our company,” a spokesperson for LensCrafters told reporters today.

LensCrafters has offered Snowden a deal that would be hard to resist.  The company will pay for his first-class airfare from Moscow to Ohio, shoulder all his legal expenses that may result from the espionage charges the U.S. government is preparing to file in court upon his return to  the U.S. , and a salary as an eyeglass model that’s twice the compensation he was receiving at the NSA contractor company which fired him.

Snowden said he was seriously thinking about the offer and will make a decision in the next 24 hours.  He said he will sleep over it on his sleeping bag at the Moscow  airport and will have an announcement about the offer by 9am, Moscow time, right after he has had his cup of Starbucks coffee.

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