Tag Archives: Manila

MANILA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT LOSES TOP SPOT: PRESIDENT AQUINO VERY DISAPPOINTED

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino has expressed extreme disappoinment that Manila’s International Airport has lost its distinction as the worst airport in the world.

With the expanded operations of a third terminal, the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) is no longer the world’s worst airport, sliding to fourth spot after topping the list for the past three years, according to a survey conducted by “The Guide to Sleeping in Airports” on http://www.sleepinginairports.net.

Islamabad Benazir Bhutto International Airport in Pakistan has moved up to the top spot as the world’s worst airport, followed by Jeddah King Abdulaziz International Airport in Saudi Arabia and Kathmandu Tribhuvan International Airport in Nepal.

The survey was conducted between September 2013 and August 2014.

“It breaks my heart that the airport named in my father’s honor has lost its top world distinction,” Aquino said, adding that “my administration will do all it can to gain back the top spot.”

Aquino directed the Philippine Department of Tourism, the Manila Airport Authority, Bureau of Immigration and Bureau of Customs to work closer together and come up with a six-month strategic plan to put NAIA back to Number One.

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MANILA’S TRAFFIC SOLUTION: BUILD A BIKINI ISLAND IN BUSY AVENUE

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Metro Manila’s government never runs out of brilliant ideas to help solve the traffic gridlock that has become an inevitable routine of daily living in the crowded metropolis.

In an attempt to prevent vehicles from making U-turns at street intersections, the Metro Manila Development Authority (MMDA) announced that it will build a bikini island in the middle of one of the busiest intersections along Epifanio De Los Santos Avenue (EDSA)  and North Avenue in Quezon City.

The bikini island is a triangular rotunda that would make it impossible for motorists to make a U-turn, thus improving the flow of traffic. While the proposed rotunda will not totally eliminate traffic in the area, it will give motorists some pastime to help relieve their stress.

The bikini island will be open to residents and tourists who wish to go sun tanning in their bikinis. Weather-proof beach chairs  and beach mats will be provided free of charge.

MMDA is confident that the sight of bikini-clad men and women will make daily commute more exciting and enjoyable. It said that if the new project proves to be successful, more bikini islands will be constructed throughout Metro Manila.

TRUCKLOADS OF T-SHIRTS STOLEN FROM MANILA’S CATHOLIC ARCHDIOCESE

Fr. Fajardo wearing t-shirt that says, 'Thou Shall Not Steal'
Fr. Fajardo wearing t-shirt that says, ‘Thou Shall Not Steal’

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Catholic Archdiocese of Manila has launched a marketing campaign aimed at reminding Filipinos of the 7th Commandment.

The Archdiocese has mass-produced t-shirts bearing the words, “Huwag kang magnakaw!” (Thou Shall Not Steal), hoping that the shirts would have the power to eradicate the culture of greed and thievery among Filipinos. Father Nonong Fajardo said that out of The 10 Commandments, the archdiocese chose to highlight the 7th Commandment because it seemed that stealing had become “normal” to many Filipinos, especially among elected officials.

The shirts cost P150 each and the proceeds from the sale will be used for forums and programs discussing the issue of stealing.

Today, several truckloads of the special t-shirts were stolen by armed thieves as the shipment was being transported from the printing press to the archdiocese’s warehouse at Adamson University in Manila. The thieves ran away with 1.5 Million pesos worth of t-shirts.

A classic case of  a message gone awry.

 

 

WHY THE 2014 MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT WILL NOT BE HELD IN MANILA

Donald Trump with 2012 Miss Universe Olivia Carpo of the United States.
Donald Trump with 2012 Miss Universe Olivia Carpo of the United States.

Las Vegas, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) – There has been a lot of speculation that the 2014 Miss Universe Pageant will be held in Manila, Philippines. After all, this Southeast Asian country has hosted two of the previous pageants, once in 1974 and again in 1994. It has also produced two title holders, Gloria Diaz in 1969 and Margarita Moran in 1974, not to mention several runners-up in recent years.

Filipinos will not be happy with today’s announcement by Donald Trump, owner of the Miss Universe Organization: the 2014 pageant will definitely not be held in Manila.

In a press briefing at the Trump Towers in Las Vegas, Trump said that while he has not made a final decision on the venue for the 2014 pageant, ” I have ruled out Manila.”

Trump said that he has been closely watching developments in Manila, particularly the pork barrel scandal that has rocked the Philippine government and has sent business persons and top politicians to prison.

“The pork barrel scandal in the Philippines is directly contrary to my beliefs and lifestyle,” Trump said, “and I will be sending the wrong message to the world if I bring the Miss Universe Pageant to Manila at this time.”

Trump does not eat pork. He is a vegetarian.

 

 

‘INFERNO’ STARTS FILMING IN APRIL; FILM CREW BANNED IN MANILA

Hanks
Hanks

Hollywood, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – It’s official. Filming for Dan Brown’s ‘Inferno’ begins in April next year and is expected to hit the theaters in December, 2015, according to an announcement by Sony Pictures.

Actor Tom Hanks will be reunited with director Ron Howard in this movie version of the fourth installment of Brown’s blockbuster novel. David Koepp has been tapped to pen the script.image

Hanks will reprise his role as Professor Robert Langdon, a role he played in the ‘The Da Vinci Code.’

Most of the new film will be shot in Italy, except for a few scenes which, in the book version, happens in Manila where the crowded metropolis was tagged by Brown as “the gates of hell.”  He described Manila as a city riddled with poverty, crime and prostitution. And traffic.

But there is a big problem.  The Metro Manila Development Authority (MMDA) has said that it has refused to issue a permit to Sony Films to shoot scenes in Manila or its neighboring cities.  “How can anyone expect us to be hospitable to a film crew of a movie that denigrates our reputation,” an MMDA spokesperson said.

MMDA said that it will grant the filming permit only if scriptwriter Koepp will change the line “gates of hell” to “stairway to heaven.”

Sony pictures has not returned calls from The Adobo Chronicles seeking comment on the MMDA statement.

 

MANILA’S INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT INSTALLS HEATERS BY MISTAKE

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – If you are planning to travel to the Philippines in the next  few months, be prepared for extreme hot temperatures when you land at Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) in Manila.

NAIA’s reputation as one of the worst airports in the world has been exacerbated by airconditioning problems in its terminals, with incoming and outgoing passengers describing the terminal as a dry sauna. So it was a welcome relief when the airport administration finally received the shipment of 36 airconditioning units it had ordered from Japan. With much fanfare, Angel Hornado, general manager of the Manila International Airport Authority, announced last week that the installation of the new units would begin and will be completed in three working days.

Like with all projects in the Philippines, a ribbon-cutting ceremony was scheduled Saturday to mark the official switching on of the new airconditioning units. Presidential sister, actress and television host Kris Aquino was invited as honored guest to cut the ribbon. “It’s quite an emotional moment for me,” she said.  NAIA was, of course, named after her dad who was assassinated at the same airport upon his return from exile during the Marcos years.

Then Hornado flashed a thumbs up to signal the switching on of the cooling units.  In less than 15 minutes, all units were functioning and guests and passengers could hear the soft humming of the fans that started to blow air into the sprawling, albeit crowded terminal.

But something was obviously terribly wrong. The new units were blowing hot air and they added to the already warm and humid temperature inside the terminal.

Immediately, an aide came rushing towards Hornado and whispered, “Sir, the units that were installed were actually heaters!”

Apparently, something was lost in translation when the airconditioning units were ordered from Japan.

For now, NAIA remains the hottest airport in the world.

 

 

TOP TEN THINGS YOU’LL NEED UPON LANDING AT NINOY AQUINO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The murdered Filipino opposition leader must be turning and twisting in his grave as the international airport named after him has gained the reputation as the worst in the world. Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) has been the subject of ridicule in recent months not only for overcrowding, confusing signage or lack thereof, clueless airport personnel, and most of all, non-functioning airconditioning units.

As of press time, new airconditioning units  have reportedly arrived but it is no guarantee that incoming and outgoing passengers will keep their cool.

As a stop-gap measure, the Philippines’ Airports Authority issued a travel advisory recommending the top ten things traveling passengers will need upon disembarkation:

1. Anahaw (wicker) fans. They’re relatively inexpensive. Foreigners can easily borrow these from their Filipino friends and neighbors. They are also sold at NAIA concession stands.

2. If you want to go high tech, you can purchase battery-operated personal fans from almost every mall in America and elsewhere.

3. Cotton towel, to wipe your sweat and keep you dry at all times, especially while in line at the immigration, customs and baggage claim areas.

4. Plastic spray bottle. Make sure to fill it up with water before de-planing. You will need to squirt some mist on your face every minute or so.

5. Deodorant. Be courteous to your fellow incoming passengers.

6. Perfume. Make it a Prada. Filipinos love designer stuff

7. Face mask. It will not only protect you from airborne viruses, but from the stench of sweat all around you.

8. Bikini top for women. Think of it as entering a dry sauna.  And make it Victoria’s Secret. Filipinos love designer stuff.

9. Bikini bottom for men. Make it Calvin Klein. Filipinos love designer stuff.

10. Ice-cold bottled water. Not just any bottled water. Make it a Fiji. Did we already mention Filipinos love designer stuff?

Mabuhay! Welcome to Manila, you know, the place novelist Dan Brown calls “the gates of hell.”